Defining yourself begins with acceptance.
We are all born with different parts and personalities. Some of us are extroverted yet indecisive, while others are quiet yet confident. Many times, these parts and pieces even contradict each other, or are only applicable for very specific situations. Maybe you are usually more of a follower, but when it comes to your science club you take the reigns and step up as a leader.
You have to accept what mental pieces you were born with, for, by disregarding some and trying to replace them with new ones, you are losing the greater image the puzzle of you creates. While you should accept the entirety of yourself, flaws and all, you still have the power the decide how to present yourself.
Once you have accepted whatever lies ahead, read on, and be prepared for a challenge.
I have seen countless people thrust themselves into relationship after relationship, trying to find their flow while battling against the waves of their partner. Time after time again, these people are faced with messy breakups and feeling lost in their own bodies.
These feelings of confusion and emptiness make total sense. How do you expect to find yourself when you are entangled with another person?
Take some time to step back from all your relationships, may they be romantic, platonic, or otherwise. We can become so suffocated in what everyone else is doing that we end up drifting away from our ideal path.
Being alone is no easy task, and it shows you what you are truly made of. Think of it as training to build up your skills for the real world. Of course, it’s daunting, and you may not always feel like you have the strength to do it, but, remember, diamonds are only made under the most extreme of pressure. Instead of giving in to fear or self doubt, flourish in it, working hard to battle against it so you can be ready for the ups and downs the outside world has to offer.
By honing in on your skills, you can create a concrete image of who you are, one which can withstand the force of other’s intentions.
Know Your Puzzle
We struggle with finding our ideal career because we have not taken the time to reflect internally. Most times, we focus on what is going on around us, such as on social media, a show or the news.
Two people can have countless conversations together and still know nothing about each other. This is due to both talking about shallow topics as well as the two being uncomfortable with what actually makes them an individual.
You need to learn to stop just absorbing your surroundings and learn to apply yourself to them. In essence, you need to take back your life.
Meditate on your experiences. See what makes you happy, or, at least, what upsets you. Deciding both what peaks your interest and what paths you would like to avoid can help point you in the right direction. You know more about yourself than you think. You just have not taken the time to realize it.
Change your internal narrator
Everyone has a prominent trait they chose, either subconsciously or consciously, to have oversee the rest of their personality and overall actions. Sometimes flaws, instead of your positives, take control during vulnerable times.
You must learn to combat that negative critic, for they will only lead you to doing actions based on fear. While a healthy dose of fear is always good, too much of it can cause stagnation and a sense of being unfulfilled.
I subdue my overarching negative trait, anxiety, by taking deep breaths in and out, allowing the breath to take away the thoughts empowering its malevolence. Other ways of releasing these feelings include exercise, sleep, art, and patience.
Having a general routine and schedule for the week allows you to feel productive and truly define yourself based on your actions. You get to decide what actions you build into habits, and what routines lead into completing short term goals, and what short term milestones build up to your long term desires.
The best way I have learned to kick start the day is to wake up early and immediately do some form of exercise. Right now, I am focusing on toning my abs and doing yoga. At night, I spend a mere 10 mins meditating, yet the small sessions have vastly improved my quality of sleep.
My tips may not suit your personal needs, and that’s okay! This life journey is about you! You have to pick and choose what you take away from this. You have to take the initiative to implement what you learn. It is all about you! My words are under your power, and only have the meaning you assign to them.